Mossflower the Movie

[Покров]

Нда... А я вот все камушки в стенах крепостных всегда прорисовываю... А они так халтурят... Чувствую, мультик этот мы увидим только к концу столетия... Если кто-то ещё из наших форумчан доживёт до того дня...

Может, мне в криокамере заморозиться?

[Бластер]

Может, мне в криокамере заморозиться?

Нафига? К Концу Света посмотреть успеем!

[Труга]

Ну что вы такие пессимистичные?! Иностранцы, они тоже люди, с какими-либо еще делами и заботами. Хорошо хоть вообще взялись за такое. А нам теперь либо помогать посильно, либо молчать в тряпочку.

[Dark]

По котиру точно!

[Покров]

Бластер

Уверен(а)?

[Бластер]

Покров

Уверен(не женщина)! На все 100 %.

[LRose]

Во какую цацку откопала

прошу меня извинить, но перевод спросите у первого известного Вам электроного переводчика, потому что мне всё это переводить некогда, ибо учёба

Written by Hethin

Edited by Brevity

 

 

MOSSFLOWER MOVIE BEAT SHEET

 

NOTE:

Okay guys, this is it. The official “Beat Sheet” for the film, at least, as best as I can make out.

Here's the thing, I've read over all your beat sheets and there are many valid points being brought up;

“Is this scene necessary?” “This eats up too much time.” “I don't like bats!!!” Okay, that last one was

an exaggeration, but you catch my drift. The problem is some of you want scenes cut out that others

want to leave in. Ultimately I think the final say goes to Brevity (I could be wrong here...there are

soooo many directors ) But all of you have brought up some valid points that need consideration.

So, here's the deal. I'll try and reach a compromise between all of you in this beat sheet. I will note

where and why I feel something should either stay in or go out.

Basically, this is going to be a 90 minute film, so there will be 90 beats. Now, keep in mind, each beat

does not necessarily equal a minute of time as is. It's mostly to distinguish between different scenes and

cuts. When I write the script, there will be a more accurate timeframe for the film.

Onward!

Brevity’s Note:

Please read through this as best you can so comment on it, critique it and criticize it NOW. Once I have

cast judgment on what is staying and what is going, it will be final.

1. Martin arrives in Mossflower. We see the oppression of Verdauga Greeneyes

2. We see the Stickle family struggling to survive. Urthclaw tries to convince them to join

the forces of Corim. After a patrol raids their home, Martin attacks them and they drag him

off. The Stickles leave to join the Corim.

NOTE: Martin should 'attack' the vermin for stealing the Stickles food, as this gives Verdauga a

better reason to throw him in jail for a while. Perhaps this is where the opening credits would

play?

(Brevity’s edit: I like that however I was thinking of introducing the credits earlier as a way to

show Verdauga’s reign of terror, my idea was to have a map of Mossflower and then a sort of

dark spread throughout the land with other supporting visuals flashing on and some narration,

like in Lord of the Rings. This also gives an opportunity to explain some of the past/history that

has happened prior to Mossflower)

3. As we see the guards take Martin to Kotir, we see Gonff stealing food from the pantry. He

notices Martin being dragged away and is awestruck at Martin's spirit.

4. We see Verdauga lying bedridden. His son Gingivere is concerned for his father's health, while

his daughter Tsarmina is secretly poisoning him with her accomplice Fortunata.

5. Martin is dragged in. Tsarmina suggests killing him while Gingivere suggests letting him go.

Verdauga decides to put in him prison for a time, to teach him respect. Tsarmina breaks Martin's

sword.

6. Verdauga dies and Tsarmina is proclaimed queen. Gingivere is blamed for the murder of

Verdauga and thrown into prison. As Tsarmina goes past Martin's cell, she taunts him that he

will rot in his cell. Martin responds that he will kill her one day.

NOTE: This is where Martin should declare vengeance, not when his sword is broken. By declaring revenge after witnessing Tsarmina's treachery, it makes Martin less selfish and

brutish.

7. Gonff is captured by the Kotir guard and thrown into prison with Martin. They become friends fast as Gonff explains that he's part of the Corim, who will rescue them.

8. We are introduced to the Corim as they share provisions with the Stickle family. Lady Amber

comes in and reports that Gonff has been captured. The Corim tries to figure out a plan to rescue Gonff.

9. At Tsarmina's coronation, the Corim arrives and starts to cause havoc. Amber takes advantage

of the chaos to send Gonff a package to help them escape.

NOTE: Yes, this is a bit of artistic license, but it's needed.

10. Martin and Gonff break out and promise Gingivere that they'll return for him. Meanwhile the

Corim is trying to help with the escape, but is distracted by the Loamhedge mice that have just

arrived.

 

 

11. Martin and Gonff are forced to jump off of Kotir castle. Argulor is still causing havoc and the

prisoners escape amid the confusion.

NOTE: By having more going on, it makes the escape more likely, and develops some

story points along the way.

12. The rescue party flees through the woods as Tsarmina sends a contingent after them along with

the Gloomer. The party makes it to the river and Skipper stirs up Stormfin to cover their escape.

13. Stormfin and Gloomer battle and Gloomer is defeated. Tsarmina is enraged.

NOTE: This scene can be discarded or revised, but pursuit MUST happen. Tsarmina

needs to get into a foul mood at her troop’s incompetence and the Brockhall route needs to

be established. If Gloomer and Stormfin are not required, then replace their fight with a

brief skirmish. (Brevity’s edit: still not a big fan of this scene and think it is using up a lot

of time for no particular plot developing purpose, that’s just me, what do you all think?)

14. Martin wakes up in Brockhall amid the Corim. Introductions are made and Gonff is reunited

with Columbine who scolds him for getting into trouble. The Loamhedge mice are also

introduced, who explain of the plague that killed off most of their order.

NOTE: We need some other reason for them to be in Mossflower, perhaps a vision guided

them?

15. A feast is held for the rescue team and Loamhedge mice. Bella takes Martin aside to tell him of

her Father. Martin agrees to go look for him.

16. Tsarmina punishes her soldiers for failing to capture the prisoners. She then torments her

brother. All the while growing more evil and insane.

NOTE: These scenes will help establish Tsarmina as an evil, yet uneasy ruler.

17. The Corim go to get Chibb to be their spy, while a group at Brockhall prepares to leave for

Salamandastron. Amid the hustle, Ferdy and Coggs wander off.

18. Chibb agrees to be the Corim spy, and the Corim notice that Ferdy and Coggs are missing

19. Fortunata, Ashleg, and Cludd all lead patrols out of Kotir, per Tsarmina's orders, to search for

Corim forces.

20. Ferdy and Coggs are captured by the Kotir guards and brought before Tsarmina. At first she

seems nice, but then threatens them. Ferdy and Coggs are put in cells adjacent to Gingivere.

21. Martin and his group leave Brockhall, having been given a scroll by Bella, and a rough

interpretation by Abbess Germaine.

NOTE: I think Abbess Germaine should have a vague notion of how the scroll should

read; she is an elder after all.

22. Chibb reports Ferdy and Cogg's capture to the Corim. Skipper leaves to find the Mask.

NOTE: Martin and the expedition group should not know that Ferdy and Coggs are

captured; it makes their leaving seem uncaring. (Brevity’s edit: not quite sure what you

mean by this, do you mean because they are gone they will not have received the news of

Ferdy and Cogg’s absence or that their absence is not noticed as they run away a lot to for example play hide and seek?)

23. Martin and the others are spotted by a guerrilla force of soldiers who follow them.

24. In Kotir, Ferdy and Coggs make friends with Gingivere. Chibb tells them of the Corim’s rescue

plan.

25. Skipper meets the Mask, he agrees to help. The Corim makes their final rescue plan.

26. Martin's group is pursued by the Kotir soldiers. They eventually lose them.

27. Tsarmina notices Ferdy and Coggs cells are empty, she thinks they've escaped. She sends a

group of soldiers to look for the Corim in the woods.

28. The Corim tries to get supplies to Gingivere, they are ambushed by the Kotir guards and a battle

breaks out. Two squirrels manage to get some supplies through.

29. Martin and the others run into a swan at a river, they quickly leave.

30. The following guards arrive and one is killed by the swan.

31. Frustrated at the failure of her troops, Tsarmina tells Fortunata to disguise herself as a healer.

Fortunata leaves to find the Corim hideout.

32. Columbine recognizes Fortunata, Mask disguises himself to trick her.

33. Martin's group stops to rest. They set up camp, unaware that the soldiers are close.

34. Fortunata meets up with Mask. He volunteers to lead her to the Corim hideout.

35. Mask and Fortunata arrive at Brockhall. Bella lets them in as part of the plan.

36. Martin's group wakes to find themselves at the mercy of their captors. The soldiers start fighting

over food and in the scuffle kill themselves.

NOTE: Perhaps we should make Martin and the others actually FIGHT the vermin, just a

thought. (Brevity’s edit: I disagree, there will be plenty of opportunities for Martin to fight

vermin, let them kill each other for once, and it’ll add some variation to the slaughter)

37. Fortunata notices Spike and Posy and thinks they are Ferdy and Coggs. She offers to bring

some medicinal herbs with the help of Spike, Posy and Mask.

38. Mask leads Spike and Posy away from Fortunata. Fortunata then stumbles upon Lady Amber's

Firing squad, she is killed.

39. Mask pretends to “capture” Spike and Posy and bring them to Kotir. The Corim 'rescue' Spike

and Posy, and Mask escapes into the castle.

40. Mask impresses Tsarmina with his initiative and cunning, especially after he tells her he knows

where Brockhall is. She promotes him to Captain which makes Cludd exceedingly angry.

41. Martin's group is stopped by two reptiles. Just as they are about to attack, Log a Log comes in

to help them.

42. Martin's group go aboard Log a Log's ship and go down the river, only to encounter rapids and

crash.

43. Mask tells Tsarmina that the woodlanders won't attack that night, and then goes to free

Gingivere and Ferdy and Coggs.

44. Martin's group wakes up in a large cave sans Gonff. The mountain is inhabited by bats, who

offer to show martin and his friends the way out.

NOTE: This way the fans are happy the bats are in the movie, and there is some conflict

since Martin believes Gonff to be dead. (Brevity’s edit: Hahaha who wanted the bat’s

taken out so badly? I know they’re kind of irritating but still.)

45. Mask rescues the prisoners and tries to escape.

46. Cludd who raises the alarm as the Corim outside the castle rushes to aid the escapees.

47. Mask is shot as he tries to escape and Skipper kills Cludd.

NOTE: We should DEFINITELY have Cludd be Mask's killer, it adds more drama.

(Brevity’s edit: Agreed)

48. Tsarmina sends all of her force out to try and catch the Corim, they escape to Brockhall.

Tsarmina is shocked when Gingivere dives under the water and escapes. NOTE: This sets up her paranoia.

49. A small group led by Columbine and Foremole infiltrate Kotir.

50. Martin's group is stopped by the reptiles from before, who are joined by an army of toads.

Suddenly, Gonff appears and distracts the toads so that Martin's group can escape to the beach.

(Brevity’s edit: Yes we did cut the Eel part here, it’s long winded and in a movie Martin

can’t constantly be captured and freed and captured and freed and so on. It gets

repetitive)

 

 

 

51. Martin's group reach the beach (hey that rhymes), and a crab halts the toads. Gonff merely

dances with it and they continue on, Salamandastron on the horizon.

(Brevity’s edit: The contrast has to be clear between BIG SCARY CRAB and situation

defusing dance otherwise this won’t be funny)

52. The Corim inside Kotir find a weak foundation, prone to flooding. They leave to report to Bella.

53. There is another feast at Brockhall. Gingivere sneaks away, telling Germaine that he'll only put

them in danger. The Corim talk of flooding Kotir

(Brevity’s edit: We need to reduce the feasts and the skirmishes; they will get boring and

lose their impact if we do not)

54. Tsarmina has a nightmare about drowning. When she awakes, she mistakes Ashleg for

Gingivere, and pushes him off the wall.

NOTE: Yes, more artistic license. Here's the thing, Tsarmina needs to be going CRAZY at this

point. Her brother's tricked her, freaked her out, and escaped from under her nose, she's got

MONDO conspiracy theories now. Killing off Ashleg saves us having to have the scene where he

leaves, which serves no point, as Argulor isn't going to be in this, and gives Tsarmina a target for

her insanity, which placates her for a time. (Brevity’s edit: Works for me)

55. Tsarmina tries to allay the troops concerns about Ashleg's death, but they remain concerned.

(Brevity’s edit: something like “Ashleg’s accident is a terrible shame…” when they can all

see that it clearly was not an “accident”)

56. The hares’ of Salamandastron accost Martin's group, and escort them to the Mountain.

57. Martin Meets Boar the fighter, He tells them of the threat to his home from the searat Ripfang.

58. Bane arrives at Kotir castle. Tsarmina lets him in, having heard of his mercenary offers, and

proposes a deal.

NOTE: Tsarmina should have SENT for Bane. Otherwise we have to explain where this

new guy came from and it takes up too much time. (Brevity’s edit: Yes and no, I like that idea but he could just as easily be let in by

Tsarmina’s guards, the guards saying “I’m sorry your majesty but this brute just barged

in, we tried to stop him but he insisted that he see you in the flesh. He says he’s a

mercenary and has a deal to offer.” Bane: I can speak for myself you cretin! Get out of my

sight.

 

The dialogue is clichй but you get the idea)

59. Boar shows Martin the Hall of Badgers. During this time, Martin becomes aware that he has to

lead the Corim forces. Boar prepares for battle with the rats.

60. The Corim starts to try and flood the tunnels.

61. Bane begins to attack the Corim, many are killed. 62. Martin and Boar converse further, Boar encourages Martin to fulfill his destiny.

63. As Ripfang prepares his assault, Boar gives Martin his new sword.

64. A battle between the Rats and Hares breaks out. Martin and his friends steal a ship as Boar the

fighter dies killing Ripfang.

65. Tsarmina continues to sink into insanity. Bane uses this to try and turn the troops to his side.

66. Martin and his crew free the slaves aboard the Bloodwake, then head to Log a log's village.

67. Bane sets out to kill more Corim troops, but is driven back by Skipper and Amber, out on a

vendetta.

68. Tsarmina mocks Bane for his failure; Bane angers her by insinuating she is afraid. They both

begin to fight, going up to the parapet. Tsarmina gets the upper hand and kills Bane, sending his

body into the water.

69. Martin's group reach the Shrew village, they enlist their help.

70. Tsarmina takes control of Bane's forces

71. The flooding has continued and Tsarmina has further nightmares, the soldiers lose confidence

again.

72. The Corim is concerned because not enough flooding is taking place. They begin to lose hope

73. Chibb tells Bella that a ship is on its way. Bella goes to investigate.

74. Martin's ship arrives, and the Corim re-unites. Martin becomes the new leader.

75. The forces of Brockhall deliver an ultimatum to Tsarmina, who regains some level of

confidence after she 'chases' them away.

76. Bella advises moving the young ones away from Brockhall. Gingivere arrives to assist.

NOTE: It made no sense to have Bella go all the way to Gingivere's farm to seek a new

berth, but the Redwallers do have to find a safe place for those not fighting.

77. Martin goes to deliver a final ultimatum. Tsarmina shoots him in reply, growing even more

maniacal. She rallies the troops.

78. Martin's orders the Bloodwake to be sunk. And the flooding begins anew.

79. The troops of Kotir realize that their castle is sinking, they begin to panic.

80. The forces of Corim and Kotir gather for Battle. A fight breaks out.

81. Timballisto uses his ballistas to lay siege to the sinking castle.

82. Tsarmina panics and flees, leaving her soldiers to die.

83. The battle ends, and the Corim discuss the rats’ fate.

84. Tsarmina attempts to flee Mossflower, but is stopped by Martin, they fight, and Tsarmina

eventually backs into the water where the bodies of her victims are, she drowns.

85. Martin collapses from exhaustion.

NOTE: Depending on whether or not we have any flashbacks of Rose, this might be a

good time to add her urging Martin to live. (Brevity’s edit: Nice touch, she will have had to be introduced somehow either prior to this

scene or in this scene as new people to the Redwall world will not know who this ethereal

mouse is.)

86. The Corim finds Martin and brings him back to Brockhall. Abbess Germaine heals Martin's

wounds.

87. Martin fades in and out of consciousness, he finally comes to. He learns that Gonff and

Columbine have been married.

88. There is another feast to celebrate the liberation of Mossflower.

89. Abbess Germaine discusses plans to build an abbey for their new home. Gingivere suggests a

place near he hid the young ones.

90. The Corim all go to the area Gingivere mentioned. They envision the Abbey, and then begin to

build.

(Brevity’s edit: They don’t even have to begin building the Abbey; it can end like TitanAE with a new world, free of tyranny, the promises of a better future of rainbows and other

optimistic things.)

END

 

 

 

 

NOTE: There are several things to remember:

1. We obviously have to make a lot of 'cuts' to the movie. We can't have a hide and seek for the

riddle because the audience loses interest, as Kobb pointed out, we can't have the Eel encounter

because it slows things down. And Argulor just wastes time. We can be as close to the books as

possible, but not puritanical, it won't work.

2. We also need to consider other things not in the book that we might want to add for character

development (i.e. Martin and Rose, the Abbesses connection to Bella, Boar and Ripfang, etc.)

But I need DEFINITIVE and UNANIMOUS replies if that is to happen. The problem with the

beat sheets was that a few people wanted this scene in and not this one, and vice versa. So I

think someone's gonna have to make an executive order here...brev?

(Brevity’s edit: Will do, just going to release this to see what the fans think first and then

I’ll make a final call.)

3. Finally, yes, the beat sheet is not 100% accurate in terms of time, it isn't supposed to be. It's

meant as a guideline so the writers can have a sense of when things happen and how long they

should take. In this case, some scenes will be shorter than a minute, others may be 10 minutes.

It depends on the script.

 

Thank you all for your time and for taking on this project.

(Brevity’s edit: And thanks for making this Hethrin!)

 

 

 

первоисточник в формате .pdf и комментарии

[Труга]

Движется дело у ребят, медленно, но движется.

Corim

[LRose]

Труга

Corim

а что не так? Это ж Сосоп ) Только по-английски

[Труга]

LRose

Да нет, улыбает просто) Не знаю почему.

- Я, я знаю! Смех без причины признак дурачины!

[LRose]

[Покров]

А это кто? Мартин или Гонф?

[LRose]

Покров

Мартин х)

[Мате]

А мне сперва подумалось, Гонф ХD

Как я понимаю, Гонф есть толстый мышь рядом? (третья вниз, слева)

Изменено 5 июня 2010 пользователем Братиш

[Лунная Диана]

LRose

Очень красиво!

[Фортуната]

Мне в начале показалось, что это все Гонф. Но прорисовано здорово!

[Белла]

Интересная картинка!

[Фортуната]

Моя заветная мечта: озвучить в "Котире" саму себя!

Боюсь, что мечта мечтой и останется(((((((((((((((((.

[Квентин]

Мне тоже картинка понравилась Хотя Мартина можно было бы и по здоровее сделать (талию по уже, плечи по шире)! Но, во всяком случае, приятно видеть, что дело движется!!!

[Фортуната]

Жду не дождусь, когда выйдет!

[LRose]

что-то уже и появилось. Не окончательный вариант, но классно.

http://brevityraccoon.deviantart.com/art/O...ncept-171678585

[Sue the Warrior]

LRose, спасибо!

 

Аниматоры, только не слейте Мартина... не слейте Мартина!!!

[Катрина]

LRose

Дело встало, я так понимаю?

[LRose]

Катрина

Я тоже так сначала думала, но потом покапалась в записях группы и сайта. Просто они хотят сделать что-то качественное, хорошее, без нарушения авторских прав... Короче, они основательно заморочились по этому поводу, поэтому дело и встаёт периодически

[Катрина]

LRose

Боюсь авторские права все равно будут нарушены. Дядюшка Браян броде не давал разрешение им на съемки.

А что за сайт?

Изменено 5 января 2011 пользователем Катрина